I know I’ve done it more than once. That is, jump in with unsolicited advice when I get the whiff of a sad emotion, particularly when it rare to see in the person in question. I get so caught up in stopping someone else falling down the hole, that I react without thinking, and don’t see it until much later.
Today I did it again, and so did someone else. It was when the other person came in with sword flailing that I suddenly realised what I had done, and have done many times before. Seeing both reactions so close together really drove it home.
It sort of flies in the face of many of the things I tell myself I believe in, which is rather amusing from a certain point of view. I am still human, and capable of making mistakes. There’s something oddly comforting in that thought. As I think about it, I can now see times that not only I, but others have done the same thing; to me, and to other.
Yet, as I recall, having someone rush in to drag you up, hold you steady, give you lots of “atta boys” and positive words-of-wisdom, was the last thing I wanted when at my darkest moments. What I really wanted was someone to stand by me, be there, be a support, and giving me room to breath at the same time.
Getting control over depression isn’t something someone else can do for you, no matter where they have been, or what they know. Depression is personal, and the solution must come from within. Having the love and kindness of friends makes the search a little less painful.
Well, that is my opinion at least. 🙂